Good Courage, 7 Devotionals
Originally published in Good Courage: Daily Reflections on Hope, edited by Alydia Smith. ©2022 The United Church of Canada. Used with permission.
Harbingers of Hope
He was in the wilderness for forty days, tempted by Satan; and he was with the wild beasts; and the angels waited on him.
Mark 1:13
Prepare
In 2020, my bedroom doubled as my office during the pandemic lockdowns. In the tree six feet from me was a nest of robins. I lovingly called them cubicle coworkers. I prayed over them when the hailstorm pounded the momma bird, whose wings were stretched wide to cover her three babies. I shouted praises when they made it through the night that dipped below freezing. I danced when they fledged, even though I lost my cubicle coworkers when the nest became empty.
On Tuesday nights, the church ran an online group whose members were mostly women living alone during COVID. The robins were frequent digital circle guests. I would turn my camera and we’d watch the babies feeding.
Life for the robins seemed uninterrupted by the virus. No rapid tests, vaccines, or endlessly long lonely weeks. The birds sang and lived as they always did and maybe…just maybe…one day our lives would return to normal, too. They were harbingers of hope.
The robins came back to nest in the spring of 2021. I remember tearing up because I never expected to still be in lockdown a year later. God, how I needed hope in that second year of COVID, when vaccines were just rolling out and people were worn down from living into COVID’s new normal.
Again, the baby birds joined the Tuesday night circle.
By the spring of 2022, all COVID mandates were lifted. A cautious optimism about partaking in pre-pandemic activities was in the air. Still, I watched with hopeful heart for signs of new life in the nest, but they never came back. I missed God’s messengers of hope, who carried our small group of pilgrims in a time of need, but I give thanks for the company of creatures and Creator.
We are not alone. Thanks be to God.
Ponder
Staying at home and having to slow down during the pandemic brought the baby birds into focus. When has God slowed you down enough to notice a gift on the landscape or new insight in your heart?
What or who have been harbingers of hope in your life?
Pray
Thank you, God, for the abundance of love pulsating through all creation. When I lose my sense of place, quiet me down enough to sense the interwoven strands of life that bind me to siblings of land, sea, and sky. Let me live in the certainty of belonging. Let me live in service to Your good creation.
Practice
The book of Job says, “But ask the animals, and they will teach you; the birds of the air, and they will tell you; ask the plants of the earth, and they will teach you; and the fish of the sea will declare to you. Who among all these does not know that the hand of the Lord has done this? In [their] hand is the life of every living thing and the breath of every human being” (Job 12:7–10).
Take time to notice God’s creation all around you: the potted violets, the gray squirrels, the dandelions poking up through cracks in the concrete. The things we take for granted outside our window just might be harbingers of hope and teachers of the Divine. What do they tell you about our Creator?
Alexa Gilmour
Faithful, Not Successful
Do not fret because of the wicked;
do not be envious of wrongdoers,
for they will soon fade like the grass,
and wither like the green herb.
Psalm 37:1, 2
Prepare
Hope holds its breath at the Juárez-El Paso border. Hope suffocates at the hands of gun-wielding border guards, or is renewed when its sacred vessel goes underground, in a land built on the cheap undocumented labour of Brown and Black people.
In 100-degree desert heat, five hundred clergy gather from all over North America wearing our kippahs, collars, and turbans. We face a high probability of being arrested, but I am strangely calm; last night, I felt the Spirit’s presence as I drifted off to sleep.
We are walking solemnly, in pairs, towards the prison where migrants and refugees are being detained without just cause. A driver of a truck with a MAGA flag yells racial slurs out his window and tells us to go home. I wonder what the African-American priest I am walking next to is feeling, but we are praying, not talking, so I don’t ask him.
To my left is the prison, and I can feel suffering emanating from the hunger strikers inside, whose children were taken from their arms as they crossed the border. They will never see their babies again. It is horrifically evil, and I try not to think about how my comfortable lifestyle perpetuates this cruelty.
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We are refused entrance at the prison’s main gate, so we begin to pray aloud. The police arrive but they don’t arrest us because someone higher up has decided that “five hundred clergy arrested for protesting US detention policies” isn’t the kind of story the Trump administration wants out there.
Five hundred clergy praying outside a detention centre in Texas doesn’t make the evening news, and some of us are crestfallen, but the Rev. Dr. William Barber II, a minister, social activist, and leader in the NAACP, reminds us that our job is to be faithful. Rosa Parks wasn’t the first civil rights activist to sit in the Whites-only section of the bus. One day this tyranny will end, and hope will breathe at the border.
Ponder
How do you keep going in the face of intractable evil? When the newspapers speak only of human failures, what practices, communities, and prayers keep you following the Prince of Peace?
Why is it so hard to look at how our own comfort perpetuates suffering? What needs to change for us to take a more active role in fighting injustice?
Pray
May I choose
not to numb myself with Netflix
while the cries of the suffering grow.
You have gifted me
with one, and only one, purposeful life.
You have given me the freedom to choose
complicity or compassion.
Oh, timid soul, robed in fragile flesh,
what will your legacy be?
Oh, Gracious God, keep me faithful.
Practice
Read Tema Okun’s “White Supremacy Culture,” an article that can be found on the White Supremacy Culture website. This website unpacks a lot of the myths collectively held in much of Western culture, such as “individualism,” “denial and defensiveness,” “one right way,” “the binary either/or,” “fear,” “the right to comfort,” and “urgency”—myths that get in the way of us participating in true justice. As you read, know that you are not alone. We are all learning how to live into the Kin-dom that Christ envisioned.
Alexa Gilmour
Alhamdulillah
The words that I say to you I do not speak on my own; but the Father who dwells in me does his works. Believe me that I am in the Father and the Father is in me; but if you do not, then believe because of the works themselves. Very truly, I tell you, the one who believes in me will also do the works that I do and, in fact, will do greater works than these, because I am going to the Father.
John 14:10–12
Prepare
It was five days before Christmas.
I was tired. I was doubtful, but Saleh was energized and certain.
As a paraplegic refugee, Saleh had crossed both desert and ocean, fleeing persecution to get to Canada. If he wanted to raise $1,250 the week before Christmas so that the men in his shelter could get gifts, who was I to argue about what was possible?
Saleh told me, “We call you ‘Alexa, the heaven sent’ because you brought Ramadan to the men’s shelter. Now let’s bring Christmas! In Arabic we have a saying: wama ramayt adh ramayt walakina Allah ramaa, which means ‘it is God who guides the hand.’ People told me I couldn’t cross the desert in a wheelchair. With God, I knew I could.”
We made up a poster and posted it at 5 p.m. on the neighbourhood social media sites. We asked strangers to consider gifting a shelter resident with a
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$25 holiday card. I went to bed excited to see that some people were willing to help. I woke up to find $1,500 in my bank account!
“What do we do?” I said, beginning to catch on to the miracle that Saleh already knew was possible. “Alhamdulillah! We share the gift,” he said. “How many other shelters are in this neighbourhood?”
We did the math. The women’s shelter, the senior’s shelter, the family shelter for those fleeing domestic violence… Could we really raise $5,000 in 36 hours and get the cards to four shelters before Christmas Eve? We’d need about 200 generous strangers to work together.
By God’s hand, we could and did. Alhamdulilah! Praise God!
Pray
Holy One, in Christ’s prayer for his disciples, Jesus prayed they might be people of courage. He promised them the possibilities of miracles if they allowed Your Spirit to work through them. I don’t always believe that I could be as special or important to Your plan as the early disciples were. Other times, I think I must do it all by myself and forget to remain in you. Help me in my unbelief, God. Let me open my life to you so that “yes” is my answer to every miracle you invite me to see and take part in. Amen.
Ponder
When do you notice God working through you? When do you find yourself doubting in miracles?
Saying “it’s impossible” is a self-fulfilling prophecy. What might change if we said, “With God, it’s possible. Come on, let’s try”?
Practice
Notice how many times you say “yes” and “no” to ideas that could make this world a little bit better. Are you okay with the ratio of “yes” to “no?” With a little prayer and practice, try to increase the amount of “Yes! With God’s help, let’s do this.”
Alexa Gilmour and Saleh Sheikh
Give Me Courage
I lift up my eyes to the hills— from where will my help come? My help comes from the Lord, who made heaven and earth.
Psalm 121:1–2
Prepare
At the height of COVID’s first wave, Dr. Aatish Iyappa from Mumbai, India, gave up his regular practice to work in a 1000-bed-hospital that was converted to a COVID care facility. He consulted on the first COVID case to hit the city. He witnessed heartbreaking scenes of young people dying before their time and remembered the generosity of a grandfather who refused an ICU bed because he had lived a long life and younger patients needed extra medical support.
“You really just feel so helpless,” Dr. Iyappa said.
“What keeps you going?” I asked him.
He said he had taken an oath and it was a doctor’s inherent duty to give their best to the patient. “We have to fight this and save as many lives as possible. That was the only aim when you wake up every day.” For weeks on end, the hospital turned away dozens of very sick people, who had travelled hundreds of miles, because the hospital was overfull. At first, there was also apprehension about donning the PPE and facing patients. No one knew how contagious the virus was. Within a couple of weeks, Dr. Iyappa’s attitude was, “It’s okay. We have something acting like layer of insulation, so let’s just go in there and give it our best.”
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Every morning, the Kodova faith played a role in Dr. Iyappa’s life on the front lines. Kodovas worship ancestors and nature. Their deity is the river, Kaveri. “Every day I said a prayer to the ancestors to keep us safe and give me the courage to face whatever adversity. That’s how I got through.”
Ponder
What commitments or oaths have you made to God, People, Earth?
How do they keep you going when you feel weary or afraid?
Where does your help come from?
Prayer
Great Mystery, worshiped in many ways, thank you for my life. May I live into the commitment I have made to love my neighbours and serve you. In the times when I am tempted by fear or uncertainty to shirk my duty or renege on my promises, may I feel your courageous Spirit’s touch. May I know that you have a purpose for my life and that like the grain that falls to the soil, I am of best use when I die to my selfish ways and live in your abundant love.
Practice
Desmond Tutu used to say, “Accidents of birth and geography determine to a very large extent to what faith we belong.” Take some time to get to know another faith tradition. Learn about siblings so that we might grow closer and become one human family giving it our best, the way Dr. Iyappa does.
Alexa Gilmour
The Way of Grief
Come to me, all you that are weary and are carrying heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me; for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.
Matthew 11:28–29
Prepare
I could tell something was wrong by the way the ultrasound technician kept pressing the wand into my belly, going over the same area multiple times. I closed my eyes and whispered, “Please, God.” This was my fourth pregnancy, but I had only experienced one miraculous live birth.
The doctor said, “I’m sorry, the fetus has stopped growing. You’re going to miscarry again.” I became overwhelmingly tired, angry, and weighed down with sadness. I crawled into bed, and my husband took our preschooler out to buy me a tub of mint chocolate chip ice cream.
The coolness of the ice cream on my tongue felt like sizzling splashes of water on my burning hot anger. The tears poured out of me as I lamented.
“Why, God?” and “Help me, God!”
I hated feeling so weak—in body and in spirit. I desperately wanted to fast forward to the part where I got up out of bed and back to my life, but I felt flattened by the loss and scared that I’d never find my way to joy again.
My mother came over.
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“I don’t know what’s wrong with me,” I said, “I have a child to take care of. I need to get up, but I just don’t know how.”
“Yes, you do,” she said, “You’re doing it now. The only way back is by way of grief.”
And she sat with me, and we cried.
My daughter heard us and came in, wanting reassurance that her caregiver was okay. She crawled into my lap and pressed her tiny head to my chest. I felt a spark of life return to me. “It will be okay,” I whispered. She snuggled in close, and we waited for the grief to pass.
Ponder
What is your relationship with grief?
What is your response to your body, especially when it fails to deliver on your hopes?
Pray
God be with me in the times of anger and loss. Slow me down enough to experience the healing that only grief can bring. Keep me from judging myself or trying to measure my pain by the grief of others. Let me rest in your bosom until my strength is restored.
Practice
When loss comes into your life, find ways to make room in your schedule to travel the way of grief. Give yourself permission to rest in the bosom of God until the spark of life returns.
Alexa Gilmour
fresh every morning
I am the vine, you are the branches. Those who abide in me and I in them bear much fruit, because apart from me you can do nothing. Whoever does not abide in me is thrown away like a branch and withers; such branches are gathered, thrown into the fire, and burned. If you abide in me, and my words abide in you, ask for whatever you wish, and it will be done for you. My Father is glorified by this, that you bear much fruit and become my disciples.
John 15:5–8
Prepare
Early in the morning, before the rest of my household is awake, I sit in the pre-dawn darkness on the sofa to meditate. With the dog breathing softly beside me, I check in with my busy mind and quiet soul. They are pulling in opposite directions again. My soul is grounded, but my mind is flying. My soul is light with burdenless certainty; my mind is weighed down with doubts and anxiety about what I perceive is mine to accomplish, and yesterday’s pains which I insist on dragging into this new day.
I close my eyes, and after a few deep breaths, I let my attention wander over my body. I’m looking for aches and pains: the physical, spiritual, and emotional ones. I’m looking for delights and excitement as well. When I find something that calls for attention, I gently imagine myself holding it for a moment out in front of me as I look at it with love before placing it in an imaginary basket beside me. I do this as many times as needed until there is nothing left but the stillness and silence of God. In that silence, I am aligned with the Creative Loving Forces of the universe.
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I have varying degrees of success in meditation, but I have learned that the times when my mind says, “You’re too busy to meditate!” are the days when mind doesn’t want to know what soul has to say. Soul, when finally given the chance to speak, puts the lie to mind’s egocentric worldview. “You’re not alone. It was never all up to you.” When mind finally listens, it is not soul that speaks, but God.
Every morning, in the pre-dawn darkness, I am graced with the opportunity to begin again.
Ponder
When you find yourself flying in multiple unhelpful directions, what grounds you?
What practices help you stay rooted in God, like the branches nourished by the vine?
What keeps you from practising and what reminds you to begin again?
Prayer
God, help me to embrace the silence from which comes your voice. Enhance my trust in the practice of stillness so that I might spend more time following you and less time following the distractions that keep me locked in scarcity rather than abundant hope. With you, I have all I need for this day and the work ahead. Lead me to the stillness and let me learn what it means to be faithful.
Practice
Imagine that you’re moving down a crowded street bustling with people who are going in the opposite direction. As you focus on your destination, most of the faces pass by you in a blur. Once in a while, someone walking towards you catches your attention. You might even turn your head as they pass by you, but you are on your way somewhere, and soon enough you turn back to focus on where you are headed.
This is similar to distracting thoughts in meditation. You start off sitting quietly, focusing on the breath, but then some thought pops up and you get fixated on it for a moment. When that happens, you need not chastise yourself but gently turn your mind back to the goal of stillness and breath, letting thoughts pass by without getting hooked by their alluring presence or being disappointed when your mind strays. Just breathe and begin anew.
Alexa Gilmour
Love Song
So if anyone is in Christ, there is a new creation: everything old has passed away; see, everything has become new!
2 Corinthians 5:17
Prepare
Coming into the hospital ICU, I take a breath and say a prayer. The nurse is escorting a middle-aged woman to the quiet room off to the side. As the hospital chaplain on call, it’s a familiar room to me. We always take people there when the doctor and family need privacy.
“I’m sorry. We’re doing everything we can, but your husband isn’t responding. There isn’t any more we can do.”
The doctor leaves and the wife collapses to her knees on the cold sterile floor. I kneel beside her and wait.
She is in agony. “He can’t die! He can’t die!” she sobs. “I haven’t been a good enough wife. He can’t die like this. He doesn’t know that I love him!”
I can hear her heart breaking. I don’t see any hope. I pray, “Please God, tell me what to say.”
Her mournful wails subside to gentle sobs, and I chance speaking into the grief-filled room.
“Your love for him is obvious to me, but I see you are worried. You feel you haven’t demonstrated love. There is still time. Might there be a way to show him, right now?”
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She lifts her face to meet my eyes for the first time. Then, she stands up, calmly wipes her tears, and walks out of the room.
I follow her to the bedside. Her husband is lying on his stomach, intubated and dependent on a machine to breathe. She tentatively reaches out, pressing her fingers into his mid-back. She begins to sing.
She spends the next six days tenderly caressing her husband’s body and singing until there is no doubt that this man is deeply loved.
On the seventh day he dies in her arms.
Ponder
Have you ever run out of time? Paul reminds us that the old is gone. We cannot change the past, but God is always doing something new. What can we do in this moment to shine God’s love through us? How can you help God’s love be the final word in any situation?
Pray
Great Physician, you heal my soul when all feels lost. Shine Your Divine Love through me in the moments when I feel helpless and into the situations that feel hopeless. Teach me to trust in the power of love’s touch, love’s song, and love’s ability to bear witness so that broken hearts might mend and all might be renewed by Your gracious Love.
Practice
Tuck a piece of paper into your wallet or phone case that says, “What can I do in this moment to shine God’s love through me into this situation?” Then, when things feel like they are going off the rails, use that question as a prayer and listen for God’s answer.
Alexa Gilmour
